When you suffer from anxiety you are picturing your life the way you DON’T want it to be. Worrying is a waste of time because it does nothing to change a situation.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
You worry about what someone thinks of you- what’s wrong with your health- how long you will live- if you have enough money- what your kids are doing- what you said- what you did- if you’re good enough.
Think This Way
- I feel good today
- The doctor said I’m healthy so I will believe him
- I can save money by following a plan
- I’m not going to worry about my kids – they are smart – I raised them well –I can’t control everything they do
- Whatever I said/did is good enough
- I’m not perfect – I’m doing my best
Ineffective Problem Solving
If you worry over a long period of time it can become chronic because you repeatedly think about bad things, but never arrive at a solution. This ineffective problem solving may seem normal to you to the point where you may not even realize you are doing it.
- Isn’t it better to picture your life the way you want it to be?
- It is said that 90 percent of the things we worry about never happen.
Why Worry Over a 10% Chance?
That statistic did it for me. The law of averages was in my favor so I was not going to spend most of my time worrying about a 10 percent chance that it might happen.
7 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO BREAK FREE OF WORRY
Try one or all of these because we all think differently, and one may just click for you.
1. Write down three of your biggest worries
Do this every night before going to bed and then write a solution for each. Worrying is a bad habit, and we can break bad habits.
2. Make a list of every worry you can think of
Put the list away for a couple of weeks, or even a month. Then mark your calendar to read your list and see how many worries took care of themselves.
3. Schedule a worry time
- I scheduled mine at 4:00, which was before supper, but long before bedtime. You don’t want to worry right before you go to sleep.
- No worrying is allowed until the time you choose.
- Your worry time can last for 5 minutes or 30 minutes, so it’s up to you. This was very effective for me because putting it off all day long minimized the constant round the clock worry. Over time I had nothing on my list when 4:00 came.
4. Create a list with two categories
- Things you can control
- Things you can’t control
- Write a 3-5 step plan for the things you can control
- Let go (cross off) of what you can’t control because you can’t change them no matter how hard you try
5. Don’t sit around and think
- Be productive
- Play some music
- Go out
- Practice meditation or relaxation to help train your brain to stay in the present
6. Write your worries on a Kleenex
- Flush them down the toilet
- Yell the worries into the toilet – then flush them down
- Write them on pieces of paper and burn them
7. Write down and keep track of each your negative thoughts.
- Then re-write them into truthful thoughts that make you feel better.
Worrying Doesn’t Mean You Care More
Being a worrier does not make you a better person than one who doesn’t. People are not going to think better of you because you CARE enough to worry. It is not going to do one single thing to change the problem. Have a plan to deal with the problem (without letting the worry part creep in).
Worriers Are Creative
I worried about a lot of things – mostly about my health and getting cancer. I chased down every scenario about getting cancer with all the “What if “ thoughts I could think of. (People with anxiety are extremely creative). The worst thing that can happen is dying.
Worrying Will Not Protect You From Death
- I realized that my worrying was just a way for me to try and control (bottom line), death. It was as if the worrying gave me some protective coating from it.
- It was not was gong to help me figure out the answer that protects me from death.
- Worrying about holes in the ozone layer was going to patch them up.
We’re All In This Together
We are all in this life together. And we are all going to the same place after. That worry (and anxiety) has not plagued me for almost 20 years now, because I decided not to be afraid of something I can’t control. You can do it too.
What helps you control your worries?
Stop Obsessing, by Edna B. Foa, Ph.D and Reid Wilson, Ph.D.
Once considered almost untreatable, OCD is now known to be a highly treatable disorder using behavior therapy. In this newly revised edition of Stop Obsessing! Drs. Foa and Wilson, internationally renowned authorities on the treatment of anxiety disorders, share their scientifically based and clinically proven self-help program that has already allowed thousands of men and women with OCD to enjoy a life free from excessive worries and rituals.