Stress has a lot to do with our attitude and can turn into anxiety. Too much anxiety may cause us to lose sight of the stress that actually motivates us. It makes us worry and feel sick.
“Your problem isn’t the problem. Your reaction is the problem.
Make a list of all the things that stress you out. Then under each item write a thought or action you will take to alleviate the stress. For example:
1. Your health
Your thought is : “I feel funny today. And what is that pain in my stomach? What if something serious is going on?”
Change thought to: I will do the best I can with my diet and exercise because I cannot worry about things that may never happen.
I will not look up my symptoms on the Internet because if I look hard enough I will find cancer.
I will go to the doctor and get a check up. If he says I’m fine I will believe him.”
2. Rude people
Your thought is: “She always talks over me and never seems to pay attention or care about what I have to say.”
Change thought to: This really isn’t my problem. If she is being rude, I cannot change that. I can only change my reaction to it. Be more of a listener. I know what I already know. By letting people talk, I will be a learner.”
3. Waiting in line
Your thought is: “I always pick the slowest line. She has 100 coupons and now the clerk go check prices! I hate waiting!”
Change thought to: “I will practice my breathing and learn how to be calm and in the present moment. I will use the wait as an opportunity to feel grateful about the idea that I have money to buy food, and a great family to cook for.”
4. Someone cut you off
Your thought is: “I can’t believe she did that. She cut two lanes over and almost killed me. Where are the police to catch this person? Wait till I tell people at work about this!”
Change thought to: The person who cut me off doesn’t have any idea how mad I am. She went off on her merry way, and I’m stuck here, totally pissed off. I have a right to be mad, but I am going to forget about it now. Telling everybody at work is only going to prolong my anger, and then I’m the one who loses.”
5. A co-worker
Your thought is: “Everybody is complaining about the annoying new employee who is doing things that are negatively affecting us”.
Change thought to: I do my job to the best of my ability. Her problem dealing with people is not my problem, so I will focus only on the things I can change.
Complimenting her on something she does well can help keep the conversation positive, but I will be assertive about the issue that negatively affects work or me.
Remembering to stay positive and avoid any situation that will bring me down is going to help my attitude.
With practice, you will begin to see that some of the things that stress you out now won’t make it to the list in the future.
Stress that becomes chronic can lead to anxiety and depression.
We can change the effect. When faced with stress, we can choose to add fear, which brings on anxiety, or choose to deal with the stress by under-reacting to it. Having peace of mind really is a choice.
Things You Can Do To Alleviate Stress
Reading is an excellent distraction from feeling anxious. You are practicing being in the present moment (not the past – or the future), and when you are present, there is no fear. Also – read books that teach you how to deal with stress, anxiety, depression and worry.
2. Find Out What You Are Passionate About
If you are stuck in a job/situation you hate (living in a quiet desperation), dare to make the change. Anxious people tend to be a self-driven, creative, and smart. If you are truly passionate about something, and you give it your attention, chances are – good things will result from your time and effort.
No one knows the end of your life story, But how it ends depends a great deal on your choices.
FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real
Say yes, even when you’re scared. If you are not scaring yourself, then maybe you are not taking enough chances.
I sometimes think, “What if people send me negative comments on my website? What if I spend months writing and I don’t figure out how to reach people? – What if I finally figure out how to maintain my website – and the technology changes?
It is much easier to talk myself into quitting than it is to keep going. It’s like having little demons constantly reminding me that I can’t do it, or it takes too much time. And sharing my thoughts can be scary too, but I can make a difference. So, I’ll just keep pushing the bullies away.
3. Dream big
When we are working towards our goal, what is the alternative – dream small? Why is it that we let the negativity creep in? Why not imagine that we are going to do well in our area of expertise – instead of the just OK or bad? What we focus on GROWS.
I read somewhere that if something is worth doing, its worth doing it poorly. If we put our time into something we love and try to stay optimistic it’s certainly better than choosing not to go for it because we are afraid we will fail.
4. Learn How to be Grateful
Write 5 things that you are grateful for every morning before you put your feet on the floor to get out of bed. If you wait until you get up chances are, you probably won’t do it.
I woke up, and I am able to get up
The sun is shining
The rain is falling, keeping everything alive
I like the smell of grass in the spring
I have food to eat and a house to live in
Having a grateful attitude must be practiced when you’re stressed or anxious. Your brain will learn to find the good in every day. Do this every day for a week or two and see what happens.
5. Focus on the Good
If you were asked to find the color red today, maybe you would notice the red azaleas, the cardinal, the break lights on the truck ahead of you, the red car, front door, red light, etc. Before you know it, you are focused on everything that is red. So if you are looking for negativity you will find it. If you are looking for the good, you will find it.
6. Share Your Vulnerabilities
When we are overwhelmed with anxiety we are often too self-conscious and too sensitive. We feel like we need to be in control of everything around us. When we share our vulnerabilities and struggles people can often relate to us, and share theirs too. We feel like we’re not alone and there is hope.
7. Try to Find Humor in Stress
Comedians are great for finding humor in bad situations to help us cope. You have to dig deep to find what can be funny about yourself, even with the most devastating state of mind. Isn’t it better to laugh at yourself versus the alternative? Humor works. Be sure to watch funny movies too.
8. Don’t Take Things Personally
Another trait that anxious people are typically “blessed with” is not handling criticism very well. I actually left a job because the manager had a problem dealing with people. Everybody knew this, but I took it personally. I later realized that the situation was her problem, but I made it mine. Also, if you are offered constructive criticism try to use it as a way to better yourself.
Try not to let your stress get the best of you. Imagine what your life would be like – or what you would be doing – if you did not have problems with stress and anxiety.
9. Don’t Care
What other people think about you does not matter. When we’re anxious we often put other people’s needs before our own. Put yourself first because you will feel happier when you are making choices that benefit you. After you take care of yourself, you can take care of others because you will feel much better doing so.
You probably spend a lot of time trying to please people, even the ones who don’t care much about you! Not everyone will like you – no matter what you do. Do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind.
Regular exercise can increase self-confidence, it can relax you, and it can lower the symptoms that come with mild depression and anxiety. Exercise can also help you sleep better.
Stress has a lot to do with our attitude because we often bring it on ourselves. When comparing a stressful situation to a person with anxiety to one without it, you can bet the situation will be worse for the latter. Too much anxiety can cause us to lose sight of the stress that actually motivates us. So, getting control of the useless stress can make all the difference in how we feel.
What are some things that help you deal with stress?
All I need to Know I learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulghum
This book is brimming with the very stuff of life and the significance found in the smallest details. The most basic aspects of life bear its most important opportunities.