“If you feel good about who you are inside, it will radiate”
When we struggle with anxiety, we are focusing on the negative aspects of our lives, and our actions and beliefs become habits. If we practice bad habits for a long time, we can start to see them as” who we are” instead of “what we are doing”. We can learn how to change these habits and focus on what makes us feel good so we can achieve what we are capable of.
Things you shouldn’t do:
1. Focus On How Bad You Feel Instead Of What You Can Do To Change It
Our goal is to overcome anxiety disorder, but we can’t worry about how long it will take to get there. If we do the work day by day, we are consciously choosing to take control over our lives versus dwelling on how bad we feel. If we must assess our progress, doing it month by month instead of day by day is the better choice because if we’re doing the work, we can properly assess a whole month by recognizing more good days than bad days. This means we are going in the right direction!
2. Give In To A Poor Lifestyle
Regularly eating foods that are vital to our bodies may take a little time to get used to if we’re not doing that now. If we can make it a habit (trying it for a few weeks), this may be enough to notice a difference in how we feel. Sometimes it’s easier to take the path of least resistance, which is good if we consider the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of the time we choose healthy and 20 percent, we cheat. The other way around can result in less energy mentally and physically – and more anxiety.
Get The Right Amount of Sleep
Sleeping too much or too little can increase our anxiety and depression. There are things we can do to get into a healthy sleep routine like going to bed and getting up at the same time, (sleeping an extra hour is OK on weekends – but any longer may negatively affect sleep), stop taking long naps, and try not to watch interesting TV shows in bed. If you don’t want cut out TV to get to sleep, watching repeat movies with the volume down may help you drift off because you already know the ending. Also use a sleep timer to minimize waking up again. In addition The light from your computer can trick your body into thinking it’s daytime, as well as stimulate your mind and keep you awake.
A sedentary lifestyle can increase anxiety, depression, and risk for cancer, obesity and much more. If we don’t have our health, it will be difficult to enjoy much else in our lives.
3. Create or Continue Bad Habits Where They Become Who You Are Instead Of What You’re Doing
We’re in charge of everything we do. An example is spending too much money. One way to change this habit is to buy only what we need to survive for 3 weeks to a month (the time it takes to change a habit). Instead we might concentrate on doing other things we enjoy to fill the void. And having a reward at the end of the month can help keep us on task. Also, if we try doing the opposite of spending, and find things to donate or get rid of, this might motivate us to keep going.
We can change our bad habit of thinking negatively too. This practice can free us from having anxiety.
4. Dream Small
Why can’t we dream big? Other people do this. Our fears will take over if we give into them. You and the people around you will benefit if you follow your intuition. It’s your life and you have potential that nobody else has.
These 3 ideas from the book, The Passion Test may help you focus on your goal.
Intention – Attention = No Tension
Intention – You have a plan and intend to carry it out – you just need to take the steps you to get there.
Attention – Give it your time because if you have your plan, it just needs your time. You will figure out the rest along the way.
No Tension – The result of your efforts means less tension, and less stress and anxiety in your life because you are doing what makes you happy. Don’t be afraid to fail. The failure is not trying!
5. Be a Victim of Your Circumstances
We are responsible for our own lives. Allowing defeat because think we can’t do it means more stress – more anxiety- more depression. Do not give in to excuses why you can’t get better or blame others for the situation you are in. Name what it is that you want to happen in your life and do what you need to do. Shift a poor me kind of thinking to one of gratitude and forgiveness. What you do today is going to affect your tomorrow. Our determination and discipline is going to get us up when we fall down. We can’t expect to get better if we are not invested enough in ourselves to do the work.
6. Keep Trying to be Perfect
Having high expectations of ourselves is a huge reason why we have anxiety – trying to be the perfect wife, mother, friend, employee, sister, daughter, etc. means that we cannot make mistakes.
We also expect that everybody around us should be perfect too – think the way we do – and treat us the way we would treat them. This isn’t going to happen but we can stop being affected by somebody else’s problem.
If we try to find humor in the mistakes we make and laugh at them more instead of constantly trying to do everything right all the time, we are going to feel lighter not heavier.
7. Try to Control Everything in Your Life
Worrying is not going to magically change a situation that we can do nothing about. It does not make us better people or be more caring if we choose to be worriers. Detach from the things you cannot control and focus on the things you can. Also, we can’t change what people do and say, but we can choose to not be negatively be affected by it.
8. Let People Take Advantage of You
Assertive people know that putting themselves first is healthier than saying yes to other people’s demands of their time. Saying yes when you really want to say no is going to create more anxiety and low self worth.
Think before you say yes. If you can’t say no immediately, let people know that you will let them know tomorrow. Then say no. Just say, “Thanks so much for asking but I can’t”. Leave it there because if you try to explain why you can’t you’ll work your way back into saying yes. You must put yourself first, especially if you have anxiety because there is a good chance you are consistently doing things that you don’t even like to do, just because somebody else thinks you should.
9. Spend Time With People Who Bring You Down
Negative people frustrate us. They are worriers, complainers, pessimists, and are often underachievers. They find a way to put a negative spin on good news, even if it involves you. If we spend time with people who work hard, grow personally, care about us and support our successes and achievements we are going to be more optimistic about what we are capable of.
10. Care What People Think of You
The only thing you can do is to be yourself. Not everyone will like you and that is OK. It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations There will always be people who judge you -no matter what you say or how you treat them. It’s better to be loved by a few people you care about, than to try to be liked by everyone. Your family, friends, your spouse, the people who love you for who you are – who will be there for you during your worst times – are the ones who matter most.
Make the choice to change a bad habit, one step at a time. You and everyone you love will be happier because of it.
What habit would you like to change?